carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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