If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize