guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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