i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
