Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
