whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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