I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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