i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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