I want to walk on stilts...naked
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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