the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
