When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's blow job season.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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