You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
