Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
