I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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