rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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