I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
