I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
