Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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