There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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