I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You pole danced in your parka.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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