Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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