I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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