brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
