So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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