guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Operation Purity has been aborted
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
