Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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