you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
