I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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