So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
