Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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