Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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