so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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