My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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