Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2710) Bad night (656)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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  (203): I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help. http://tfl.nu/59br
  Replies (44) Good night (6149) Bad night (672)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't remember. Are we still dating?

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  (403): I don't remember. Are we still dating? http://tfl.nu/s8nn
  Replies (21) Good night (1224) Bad night (5365)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?

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  (502): Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here? http://tfl.nu/rbfc
  Replies (26) Good night (8946) Bad night (686)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (7938) Bad night (1123)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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  (810): during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer" http://tfl.nu/avyg
  Replies (15) Good night (2808) Bad night (1362)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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  (309): It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise. http://tfl.nu/xykk
  Replies (5) Good night (1993) Bad night (1095)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.

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  (613): New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would. http://tfl.nu/oc0p
  Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (657)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.

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  (309): He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways. http://tfl.nu/72i4
  Replies (10) Good night (1019) Bad night (2383)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?

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  (405): All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/wsyz
  Replies (12) Good night (2293) Bad night (527)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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  (281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (423)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?

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  (205): So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/xark
  Replies (6) Good night (494) Bad night (1406)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation

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  (520): Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation http://tfl.nu/bc5i
  Replies (1) Good night (1052) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.

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  (212): We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere. http://tfl.nu/afoi
  Replies (9) Good night (1631) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

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  (270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once. http://tfl.nu/lr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (305)

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