Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.