Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts http://tfl.nu/hmun
  Replies (3) Good night (1475) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (509) Good night (87955) Bad night (9336)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy. http://tfl.nu/mi86
  Replies (85) Good night (2236) Bad night (6362)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now (310): Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok... http://tfl.nu/uoe6
  Replies (14) Good night (4387) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie http://tfl.nu/vbyw
  Replies (36) Good night (6226) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4388) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!" http://tfl.nu/74ai
  Replies (9) Good night (1613) Bad night (5851)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach. http://tfl.nu/tnd1
  Replies (6) Good night (2550) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling. http://tfl.nu/qu9z
  Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush? http://tfl.nu/jh6a
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball?? http://tfl.nu/5g8j
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch http://tfl.nu/nj3s
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now. http://tfl.nu/u96j
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us.... http://tfl.nu/v0bn
  Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen http://tfl.nu/mpbb
  Replies (2) Good night (149) Bad night (303)

Randomize