Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Congratulations! We have a period
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