are you so shy because you have an std?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
