Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
