i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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