This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was born a porn star she said
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
