i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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