So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
