I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
