what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
