i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
