So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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