Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
