hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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