I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
