Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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