I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
