On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
