were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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