Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
