weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize