Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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