I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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