Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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