i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I cut my penus on the lid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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