if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
