last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
