Already got asked if we're dating
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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