I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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