Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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