You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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