Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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