Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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