Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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