I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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