just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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